My Girlfriend by Kenn Nesbitt

I now have a girlfriend, though I don’t like girls.
I haven’t much money, but I buy her pearls.
I’m always embarrassed, but I give her flowers
and talk on the phone every evening for hours.
We go to the movies, and she gets to pick.
She likes holding hands, though it makes me feel sick.
She likes when I smell good, so I take a bath.
I do what she asks me, and she does my math.